Lesson 1: The Secret
| Hello friend! So, THE big Secret? It's something you've probably heard before, but now it's time for it to change your life: Behavioral Momentum. Simply put: you get the good behavior going and you keep it going. Why does it matter SO MUCH? Because the real secret: the person who has the greatest power to create positive behavioral momentum in children is THE PARENT. Understanding your ability to COMPLETELY CHANGE THE MOMENTUM in your home, not only stops power struggles today, but long term! Let me show you how creating behavioral momentum stops power struggles. Truth #1: Be what you want to see. Take a closer look at your own behavior. Why do certain things trigger worry or fear? It usually has far more to do with your own story than what's happening with your child. Our thoughts about the events in our lives (rather than the events themselves) are what cause us to get angry and rigid. Practice being a CALM AUTHORITY. Don't have buttons for your kids to push. Remember that it's their job to test their boundaries, and it's your job to stay calm. Managing your own emotions models for your child how to behave when things get tricky. (Momentum!) Truth #2: It matters what you give attention to. It's so natural for parents to:
But there is a much better way! Your identity as a parent HAS to fundamentally change! You are no longer the one who weeds out weaknesses and punishes. You are the one who creates good and adds good to your child's life. Use your time and energy to look for the good. It will grow. (Momentum!) Truth #3: Positive relationships work together better. The best news: Behavioral momentum is a PROACTIVE way to parent. Your kiddo is more likely to listen to you, believe what you say, follow through with directions, and collaborate. WHY?
Connect with your child daily, because it really is true what they say. Connection = Cooperation. (Momentum!) Truth #4: All behaviors are connected. The research says: if you look for the good and help it to grow, 80% of all the misbehaviors you don't like will just DISAPPEAR. I'm not kidding.
When a child feels better about themselves in one area of their lives, they behave better in other areas. Good behavior generalizes. (Momentum!) Are you ready for some examples of how to create momentum in your home daily? And script? Tomorrow in Lesson #2 I'll share lots of examples of behavioral momentum, and script for what you can say to defuse power struggles and get your kiddo going in the right direction. See you then! |
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